Stand in Truth

Satnaam

One reason people get frustrated with others is we are saying something and they don't acknowledge it, or interrupt or argue with it. Then we feel like we haven't been listened to or we get upset or we fight even harder to make them listen and AGREE with us!

This morning we had the gian that all we need to do on our side is live our truth,  so keep on sharing the true wisdom with others,  keep  doing Dandauth to all.   But dont keep the expectation of what the other person should do with that information.  Our job is to " stand in truth" as baba ji told us. 

Because the other person is bound by their karma,  and ego blocks them from accepting it right away,  because baba ji said, "without Gurparsaad no one can understand satnaam."

So we can share the truth with them,  stay true to our inside.  And then instead of trying to desperately repeat ourself until they agree, just pray for them to,  "God bless them with Sat budhi/ wisdom.

It's only our ego that wants to be right and win.

But one thing extra we can do as well,  is to say,  "please listen to everything I am about to say before saying anything."  and then once you finish, you can request, "you may not agree with what I said,  but please tell me what I just said."

And then we can do the same for them.  "now you talk and I will listen."  when they finish you show what you understood,  "ok so what you are saying is... Is that right?"  and then keep asking them "anything else you want to add."   then both sides feel they have been listened to fully,  understood,  even if the other person or we don't agree,  but at least we feel we shared and we're understood.

ROSE:  Baba ji said take time to think and feel before responding, so we are not in a rush not REACTING.

Gurpreeto : Yes,  sometimes when we realised we are getting upset,  we just said "we are getting annoyed now,  so please stop this topic or I will leave the room."

Then we would go for a walk to cool down and reflect.  But over time  when anger and ego had cooled down,  we could just stay and listen and just bless the other person and stay in our peaceful place.

Yes, or once we just asked davinder to write all her grievances down and we did the same rather than arguing ,  then discussed it later when we were calm.

We think that's why we prefer emails... We can write everything without being interrupted and side tracked,  and person replying can do the same and there is time in between to calm down.  Although with emails critical  words can seem much harsher,  so it's important to state facts of what happened and how it made us feel.   And not to point the finger of blame or criticism at the other person.   Eg,  "when you said x,  it made me feel upset because I felt I am not good enough. "    Rather than, "YOU ALWAYS ATTACK ME,  YOU MAKE ME ANGRY." (assertiveness... Google it).

Baba ji said that alot if gurbani is about just getting on with others,  when we are OK with the people around us when can do our simran and bhagti in peace.

And we saw most of the problems families have are just down to lack of communication skills because they are reacting out of five thieves to each other, pouring more fuel on the fire.

Satnaam satnaam satnaam thanks satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam

ROSE:  Sat ji, we realised we also need to develop the same thing for others so we can truly listen to what they are saying from the heart rather than shutting off after the first thing we don't agree we. This is true communication, heart to heart then rather than head to head.

Truth is high , truthful living is higher - great great guru Nanak dev Jee.

GURPREETO :
When we do our simran, get to a loving place inside, then our thieves calm down,  our selfishness goes and people around us calm down too.

KIRANDEEP: Thanks preeto veerji & rose ji.. u both hv answered every question of us.. satnaam satnaam