experiences

SatNaam Supreet Ji,
Dandauth Bandhna ji
 
please dont feel sad about our struggles.  Only feel sad if we failed and were doomed to spend the rest of our days in hell.
But the struggles are how we repay our past bad karni.  And the Guru is kind enough to hold us by the arm every time we fall.
We feel this path is like two step forwards one step back, "peaks and troughs", but overall we are million times better than we were 8 years ago, and thank God and Guru ji for showing us all the filth we were (and still are in, to a lesser extent).  We pray everyday, "Satguru ji please show us all our filth, all the illusions we are living in, please keep testing us, so we can see how much anger and ego is still left in us."
 
God bless You,
 
By the way , regarding your girlfirend, when you have to "think" about what to do, then that is all part of ego and desire (haumai and trishna) and that is what we have to get out of.  But when it comes from your heart, then it is love, it is selfless, it is like a flower being beautiful spreading its fragrance for others benefit.  So like a flower, bring your min back to simran, say "I dont want her or anything, I only want You Satnaam, may all my hopes and desires burn away, be destroyed, even if it means i am lonely and old (i..e face your fear) that is fine, asl long as YOU are in my heart."
 
Then as Baba ji said, "if you love someone set them free, if they come back then good, otherwise it was never meant to be."  So like a flower, let the bee come to it.  Have that much faith in God-Guru is doing the right thing for you.  Otherwise you are just chasing desires, with your ego part trying to confuse you saying it is "love" and making you chase desires to enter you back into mayas net.
 
Dust of your feet
Harjit