Depression - Walking Through The Valley Of Death

Severe Problem
Posted by: Luke
Thu Mar 4, 2010 7:09 pm (PST)

I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce,

but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21
that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion.

have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling.

it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged.

i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track.

doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term.

but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16)

i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway.

and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems.

i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration.

the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away.

i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from.

i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time.

but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger.

burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation.

i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality.

===

From:

Harjit

SatNaam - (SAT) Eternal Truth is The (NAAM) Infinite Divine Power.

Dandauth Bandhna - please accept our prostration greeting at your feet.

Dear Luke,

thankyou for your email on the kundalini forum, we feel for you. This is the beginning of your journey to Truth in this life. All pain is medicine for us to wake us up out of the illusion and make us ask why am I in pain? What is the Truth? Only good is going to come out of what you are going through. First of all you will see through the illusion of false life, then with blessings you will be remade in Truth.

All pain we suffer is due to our past deeds, past of this life or more likely in your past lives. Some things the doctors and yoga and lifestyle changes can fix, others only a blessed soul can fix.

Baba ji (my guru) explained that depression is when your soul has to walk through the

valley of death due to the attrocities you have committed in the past. The number of days

you have to suffer is exactly according to what you have sown in the past.

This is how the LAW OF KARMA plays out. This is why we are reborn, to pay our dues, before we can go back to the Source - Sat Naam, the Truth.

The only way to reduce our karma is through the grace of the divine soul that you are destined to meet.

Through His/Her blessings, our Karma account is reduced,

when He blesses us wuth the Grace, the Eternal blessings of Naam,

he takes on board all our pain, and lifts us up with the divine Light.

Without a Guru like is just walking through the valley of death.

With the Guru's blessings, we are given wings, which we call Naam, Sat Naam.

But in the meantime, please start praying to God-Guru every day, all the time and pray for forgiveness

for whatever it is that you have done in the past/past life which you are having to suffer for now.

As soon as we ask for forgivness we are forgiven, God-Guru is that kind.

You days in the valley of death will be reduced even faster when you find your Guru

and start doing Naam simran (meditation on Naam) , that is the only way to wipe

millions of sins clear.

God-Guru Bless you always and forever to meet your God-Guru and be blessed with the Naam.

Feel free to email us.

Harjit

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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Supreet Kalsi
Dear Luke,

For the last 2-3 years, I've felt just like you described. Completely detached, emotionless, no motivation at all to do anything. There was no love, no compassion for anyone. I barely spoke to anyone, even my family. I used to spend weekends lying on bed and getting depressed. I was irrirated by every little thing.

Harjit Ji is right. See it as a cleansing process. Most importantly, there is only one thing that will help: praying. Nothing else will help as much and as quickly as a prayer. I found it difficult even praying sometimes, but even one prayer in a day is enough and will help you build up strength to pray more and more.

With infinite blessings, I finally came out of this darkness and it happened amazingly quick - within one day. It was like a light bulb was turned on inside me and darkness went away in a click. It is only getting better and better now.

Please keep praying and ask for forgiveness.

You will come out of it.

Many many thanks,

Supreet