Fri 13th to Tue 17th March, 2015
Dhan Dhan sat Parbraham pita parmesar maharaj ji. Dhan Dhan mera satguru poora. Dhan Dhan mera preetam pyara Satguru rakhwala. Dhan Dhan mere satguru dee sat sangat who came from far and near with love and devotion in their heart to serve and sing praises of Truth in this dark age.
I am just a great sinner, a traitor to my satguru not doing what they say to me, a great offender, complainer and blames, full of five thieves and desires, I fully accept my misdeeds, please forgive me maharaj ji, and bless me with good thoughts, guru's wisdom, blessings of continuous Naam in rom rom, seva and bandagi. Nothing happens because of me, you yourself are the doer of everything.
Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam
Three days of complete upliftment, at the end we thanked baba ji maharaj for saving us yet again. They kindky replied, "the diamonds are found in the coal face. You are a diamond." And we served a drink to dhan dhan mata ji, she smiled and said, "take a sip first," we did so and handed it to her, she added, "you are sat guru."
We are not even worthy of being the dust under their lotus feet, we are the worst sinner, it's only by their look of grace that a sinner like us is being ferried across. We make efforts, but everything happens by their Gurparsaadi grace only. Just by our efforts we cant clean up all the filth of countless lifetimes of sins.
Actually we didn't want to write it in the diary these words diamond, and satguru against this sinner. But we others have also been given these blessings and then their ego has taken over. So we wanted to explain that "I (ego) am not the diamond. But the shabad 'ik onkar sat naam' which was continuously and deeply going on in our hirdha (heart chakra / seat of the soul) is the diamond. Only God's name plus our heart is the priceless diamond." And again "I (ego) am not the sat guru. But SAT in our heart is the only GURU." And finally, these blessings are true only in the moment that they are given.
Last year in March in India Sangat we were also blessed very highly but by November we had hit the mental lows due to uncertainty about our job. But since we finally overcame our manmat (self wisdom) and trusted dassan dass ji and applied and got a job in December, we have been on the road to recovery. We went to Xmas sangat where Maharaj told us, "without firm faith that our satguru is taking care of all our tasks, it (our spiritual earnings) all unravelled."
Since being blessed at Xmas again our down feelings went, our new job started in Jan with 2hrs on the train each way. We just committed to do simran in that time on top of our 2.5hrs amritvela. We were determined not to fall back into the hell of the previous year so have felt we have been running hard from the last sangat to this one.
After Xmas sangat dassan dass ji saw many Sangat have not maintained the blessings they had received in the previous August UK Sangat. They wrote that our spiritual levels should be going higher with each sangat, but instead we go backwards into the filth because we don't do our daily discipline. So we were determined to maintain what we got at Xmas. Many times we wanted to give up and miss simran and stay in our comforts but we focused our mind on being pure as we can for Texas.
Reaching here we first humbly fell at the sangat's feet by cleaning their shoes with the hair on our head, then entering to behold the guru's feet.
Serving and doing simran in our heart all the time. Only continually asking for nothing but just a drop from the infinite ocean of humbleness and love for the feet of the sants and Sangat that dhan dhan Baba Nanak ji had. He was also seeking out saints, like the hungry sadhus, serving them and sitting with love at their feet, seeking their blessings to fulfil his only hope of being with the one supreme God.
Just focused first on dassan dass ji's lotus feet and thanked God in them always for himself coming to save us and hearing our prayers. Humbly focused on maharaj's feet throughout, nothing to ask, just to earn what they have told us so many times over the years.
Some highlights:
As soon as we came in baba ji maharaj was blessing greg, a real Truth seeker. Greg was experiencing "the father inside" , after searching all his life through other religions and paths, finally baba ji was the one where he was destined to get the grace, Gurparsaadi Naam. He said, "all my questions have ended, my mind is still."
Sangat left, think they had been there blessing greg for the previous four hours. We sat at maharaj's lotus feet. They looked at us, all we saw was gid looming at us, connecting with our heart, and giving us the wisdom of seeing God as the only doer, not me, not my body and ego, but God,
NA KUCH KIA
NA KAR SAKA
NA KARNE YOG SAREER.
Jo kuch kia
SAT ne kiya
bhaya preeto Gareeb.
We had also been thinking the same in the plane, that we hadn't earned the fact gid us doing everything, not me. That's why we think about desire for more money, less travelling, better job... Already mind us getting clever again.
we enjoyed the kirtan and singing so much, gave us one mind one focus. We danced and we sung, we played tabla with our heart (baba ji in us played it). We forgot everything else, only the priceless diamond of "ik onkar Sat Naam " continuously heard in our Sublime heart (hirdha).
One afternoon during a break the children did some kirtan and we sung along. Most sangat and maharaj ji had gone for a walk. Then Sukhmani ji, started singing beautifully from her heart at the vaja. We lost ourself and forgot all other thoughts, whilst playing tabla with one focus one mind and singing Satnaam on our tongue. Eyes were closed and then we opened to glimpse maharaj has walked in with the blessed sangat. Then we were more determined to focus, closed eyes again. The amrit levels went higher with baba ji's blessings only. We felt Satnaam all around us, we kept praying to be a sacrifice to our guru forever and ever. We kept imagining ripping open our chest and placing our heart at maharaj's feet, just like hanuman loved his guru and ripped open his chest to reveal his guru sitting in his hirdha. Again and again we kept saying to maharaj, "our mind our heart is yours, we rip open of chest and place it at your feet. We cut our body and mind into tiny pieces maharaj and throw it under your feet, a hundred feet under your feet. So that the sangat can stamp out our ego and turn us into nothing but dust." Again and again we did this prayer whilst 100‰ into tabla and singing with blessed sukhmani ji. At the end we sat quietly feeling the love and light inside. We saw sukhmani ji sitting with eyes closed and also her face glowing. What a blessed soul, only 15. Only last August in the UK sangat, she had so many questions for dassan dass ji, but when she sat in sangat, the guru answered her with Satnaam blessings straight into her heart. She united with the husband inside ( a Suhagan(bride) was born) , tears streamed down her cheeks, she felt the endless love of the Lord inside herself, which no question and answer session would ever have given her. Love is beyond logic. Heart is beyond mind. Also last summer jagmit , aged 15, also joined with the divine light inside and became a Suhagan. In this sangat, Jeevan, aged about 13, also became a Suhagan, as well as Greg who had been searching all religions all his life until now. They all were blessed highly by maharaj and by their past bhagti.
The next morning we came in and baljit was being cleaned up by maharaj ji and dassan dass ji, they broke her false beliefs with highest wisdom, they put bright colours on to help her snap out of dark mind she is trapped in. We said, "you look like a butterfly" , she replied, "I hate butterflies!"
They put on colourful Indian bangles and she resisted by making fists and saying she hates fashion. Saying "no, no, no" to her guru. Maharaj shouted, "leave the sangat if you are not going to listen and do what your guru says, it's only for your benefit." So she listened when they told her the bangles are not for fashion, they are now blessed and to see them as a shield to protect her from spirits.
They told her to open her fists to raise her head and sit up straight not hunched. To stop being tight and enclosed. To open her arms and chest out, to breathe in deep, to dance and be free. To move like and look like a colourful lady, not this repressed , depressed dark figure she has become after a life of hell first at her parents home, then in the place where they married her at a young age, and then temples and gurdwaras that have just put more religious restrictions on her and enclosed her inside even more instead of freeing her from her demons. "The Truth will set you free" says Jesus, so what she had done so far has not been the Truth because she was not free.
She resisted again, maharaj himself got her up and danced with her making everyone laugh as he showed her how to twist her hips and be a lady. Rest of Sangat jumped up and danced too playing tabla and bells. So joyous and happy just for baljit to open up.
Then maharaj ji delivered amazing Truth in english about expressing our heart and how our families and religions just kill the inner child inside. They said it was all bullshit. Be free in Truth, Love, Compassion and service to all. (We have a video to be uploaded.)
In the mornings in our motel room, with baba ji's grace, we maintained our amritvela simran and did yoga too. We found it so easy to go deep, unlike at home.
We went for a walk in the park and felt free on the swings with the sun on our face and cool breeze around us. Then sitting at the park table, dassan dass ji was encouraging us all to do amritvela. Dimple ji said it was difficult to get up, they go to sleep late, work is tiring, Isha is a handful(although she wakes dimple up at 2.30 every night and goes to sleep again) , housework, older kids clubs and so on. All common problems many of the Sangat have. Dassan dass ji replied kindly that she is already so blessed as she goes into samadhi and sees and feels Satnaam deeply that all she needs to do is to make that time to sit and focus, the rest will happen very quickly for her. But she replied, that it's so hard to feel the amrit at home, so easy in sangat. Dassan dass ji said, "you lack devotion. Amrit is the same here in sangat and at home." The Guru is everywhere and in our heart. So it's not the amrit that is missing from our house, it's our devotion, our full surrender to just sit, pray and do Satnaam. We could relate to what Dimple penji was saying, and it's true that when we have fully surrendered, amrit expands all over our body and mind. We found we struggle to feel amrit, God's presence, because we want to have achieved that in our amritvela. If we didn't we get frustrated and less motivated to do amritvela again. But pritam anand ji said feeling amrit is not in our hands, we only have to honour what our satguru ji has said to us. And that is to get up and sit for hours as instructed and wether anything happens or not to keep going. He said even they are here at sangat, and Sangat carries on until midnight, as soon as their eyes open, even after only an hour or two of sleep they get up and do simran, just to honour their satguru's instructions.
The next morning sangat was singing benti chaupai. First, we went to the kitchen area to do damdauth to our guru ji's having breakfast and get their blessings. Dassan dass ji touched his fingertips on the centre of our chest clearing our hirdha. Baba ji started offering us food and to sit with them. But we thanked them for the kindness, always caring about others, as we had already eaten. We went back and played the tabla. We were determined to keep our eyes closed and focused on baba ji's lotus feet. And not to open them no matter what. (normally we are busy checking the cameras and don't sit for long with closed eyes. But dimple said that's OK too. Once she was singing with mata ji on the vaja, she closed her eyes and went into samadhi and arms went into asan so kirtan stopped. Then baba ji told her that when are doing seva we have to focus on that.)
Chaupai is a four line per verse poem written from the heart of the tenth guru king of kings. We felt so much love when singing, it's benti, a request, a plea, a prayer from the depths of a humble heart at the feet of the supreme Truth. A heart that has nothing left in the world and absolutely no one else to turn to. Whom all are oppressing and destroying.
We felt it like that. Then Satnaam Satnaam Singing started and we felt we are begging at Baba ji's feet, at God's door. Then guru ji's came into the room and every thing went higher. After a few minutes, Baba ji started calling in God, "aajaa, come". Then we felt the whole room filled with divine light. A sister ji suddenly started screaming louder and louder, actually some spirit in her was being driven out by the light of God and it was screaming. The tabla playing went harder and faster, the singing went louder, her screams got louder too, but divine light got more intense as it poured into her by baba ji's grace.
Then she quietened down, but we felt it's not over yet, we are in the heart of the battle now. The tabla was playing like galloping battle horses charging and now clashing with the darkness in every single sangat member. Like sat parbraham had a sword in his hand and spinning at high speed wiped out millions of sins in a second. The verse came to our mind of God as the source behind all destructive forces:
Kaal tuhi, kali tuhi, tuhi tegh ar teer,
Tuhi nishanee jeet kee, aj tuhi jag beer.
You are the darkness, you are kali (female destructive energy), you are the sword and arrow (weapons of destruction). You are the sign of victory, today you are warrior of the world.
Then the kirtan slowed and stopped. Maharaj baba ji stood up strong and solid like a wall , sat parbraham was manifested in them and speaking very powerful words, that dassan dass ji said later where heard throughout all realms. Sat parbraham said, "DARKNESS CANNOT STAND INFRONT OF TRUTH." (we have the rest recorded).
Maharaj ji later explained that a black magic dark priest had been paid to curse sister ji. And had put a captured soul in her to torment her. But even that spirit wants to be free of the priest who is controlling it and making it do bad deeds. But divine law does not allow dark spirits to enter sangat of Truth. So it could only come into sangat by possessing someone. Then sat parbraham can remove it and out of compassion also bless it.
The next morning again beautiful. Singing by sangat under gurus blessings then the singing went to, "Sat parbraham sarnaee... Shelter of supreme Truth."
We had kept our eyes closed at baba jis feet AGAN playing tabla and singing with all our heart, one focus one mind. Then again sat parbraham ji came like a cloud of light, but this time was covering the sangat in India, Canada, USA and everyone connected to the Naam. Like a father wrapping his long coat over the child to keep it out of the dark storm.
Maharaj ji is so kind upon all Sangat everywhere. We spoke to dimple ji afterwards and she confirmed it too, and said parbraham was like a white sheet covering everyone.
Finally, Greater than all spiritual experiences is to earn the divine qualities that are dormant in our heart. And Texas family have so much love, kindness, warmth, Compassion and took care of all the sangat's needs. They will be blessed forever. Maharaj ji blessed every penny they spent, every Satnaam they said, every service they did. It will multiply and come me back to them in beant, unlimited proportions. Satguru kee seva safal ha je kau karay chit laai . Seva of the sat guru is accepted if it is done from the heart.
May we all learn from them what is love and service and earning of divine qualities. How rare it is to find a group of divine people in this world practising these divine qualities and praising God's name and serving each other. Baba ji said this is sach khand living... Living in truth, brings joy and peace. Compared to the hell in most families and the world around us.
Love and blessings to all, always, may our head be at service of dhan db an satguru Sangat forever.
Dandauth to all
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