Never give up.. Bhagti is too important

Satnaam Baba ji said something like this to us once, keep doing satnaam satnaam satnaam,  when we get tired sitting,  do it standing,  when we get tired standing do it walking,  when we get tired walking do it sitting,  thing is to just keep doing it,  ootath baytath sovat jagat naam.

Personally we could never sit for even 30min without getting very frustrated.
We wanted spiritual things to happen like they did for others,  but they didn't, so after simran our mind would be angry.

We would be angry then with kids whilst getting them ready for school.

We tried to force ourself to get up after midnight and stay up,  we got exhausted and even more negative.

We never got any peace from simran like that.

We could not find a comfortable position either.

Our knees have problem sitting cross legged,  chair was too hard,  bed we fell asleep on,  sofa our neck would hurt,  back pains too.

We would sleep late,  get up late, miss Amritwela,  feel very bad,  more negativity.

We just did seva instead.

We enjoyed website seva.

That gave us peace,  editing recording,  writing,  singing on vaja,  reiki healing praying for others and doing yoga exercises with satnaam inside,  all those things have us peace.

But not 2.5hrs at Amritwela... Too hard.

Plus we never missed weekly sangat for 8 yrs.

After 8yrs when dassan dass ji came to UK,  then our mind got determined to try and do Amritwela properly for the next 6mths with full surrender and highest priority.

Then we found comfortable luxury office chair with head rest,  we went to sleep early,  we got up and did yoga first with satnaam felt great and no tension or sleepiness in body at early hours, mind still got negative,  but this time we realised simran is showing us our negativity (maya is fighting back against satnaam)  so we realised simran is working,  maybe we are not having spiritual experiences but we are being shown all the maya inside us.  Then instead of complaining and be in angry we did dandauth to Baba jis photo before simran and afterwards and just thanked them for whatever they gave us and whatever they didn't give us.  For one year when UK sangat finished we did sangat only of baba jis photo,  all our negativity went having darshan of baba jis photo like that.

One year no other sangat,  just baba jis photo ibfront of our chair and humble ardas and thanks.

So if u can't do simran do seva seva seva with satnaam,  and read the website and gurbani and understand maya and beat her in your waking life,  even if you can't beat her in your night times.

Keep doing ardas for Naam. Seva and bandagi,  one day mind will cool down and be able to sit.

Still we don't think we are good at doing Amritwela,  we do it we don't know if anything is happening or not.   But we don't let ego judge it anymore.  We stop listening to ego and maya now saying negative things,  we just do satnaam and don't think anymore or question or care what happens or doesn't happen.  We love baba ji and dassan dass ji, we see his picture and we feel like crying for the kindness they have done on us,  we are useless at simran and seva,  but it's only their look of kindness that carries us.

Main thing is never give up.

Bhagti is too important to give up and there is only maya waiting for us if we do give up.

Worst thing we did was to force our mind to do Amritwela with little sleep and just getting angry afterwards.   Because then we stop doing Amritwela because deep down we don't enjoy it.  Then when problems came in our life,  instead of doing simran for peace,  we just went to maya comforts and got trapped in junk food,  late night TV,  pornography shows,  and went further into hell.

But guru is kind,  saves us all the time,  we learn from our mistakes,  started again so many times after confessing on the group.

If you are trying and failing,  at least you are trying and you will succeed,  but giving up means we will never move forward.

We aren't the best person to share experiences,  our experience is mainly of making all the mistakes!

We are very blessed to have sangat of souls like amit ji, gurpreet ji and others who are so humble and surrender and have the gift to share wonderful experiences. 

Our experience is just of getting out of our hell mind and constantly battling with our body and mind and thieves and maya.

PRITAM ANAND JI :

All of us have to keep fighting with our own mind and keep ego and pride under our own feet and keep stamping and keep doing sat simran and seva ji

whoever will stay in greebi and greebi is product of heart never will loose anything ji

APNAY KARAZ APP SWARIAY.  what are the karazs(jobs)?  win over the mind with satgurus pita ji's grace and blessings of all jis great karaz for us.

And just do less and less of things that keep us in maya.

Do whatever we can,  do what gives you peace,  then just keep doing more of those things whether it's seva,  singing,  sangat,  Simran and keep increasing.