satnaam ji, dandauth ji,
parents have something very powerful that kids want and that is their APPROVAL. Kids, even as adults , are still seeking (even secretly if not openly) their parents sayibg , yes we approve. We know we were like that. Our colleague a chinese lady pushed her kids ALOT music exams, karate, privatr tuition etc. Kids were way ahead of other kids, but they couldnt sleep, worried alot etc, we told her all they want is you to love them, but you hold back that love and praise, unless they do x, y and z. They dont enjoy what they do, but thats the only way they know how to get your approval.
We look at our home life, religious life, even now in sangat. Its the same story, all looking for approval, why , so we feel loved. Why did we start on a spiritual path, to find true love, love that never dies. What did we get...into religion which made us follow very hard rules and regulations. Why did we follow it? So we would be approved of by religious elders, peers and parents, but ultimately we thought we will be approved by god.....and then he will love us.
Even on this spiritual satnaam path we have been and still are following very hard discipline, it maybe on the inside rather than outside in religion, but still why do we do it, why do we push ourself so hard on sleep, on long hrs of simran, on hard work, on constant ardases, on confessions , on sharing this gyan, or making books and websites.....all because ultimately we hope guru ji will approve of us, of our seva and god will love us.
Even mike tyson the boxer , was crying in a documentary, saying he just wanted to be loved. And boxing had become his way of getting praise and approval , what he thought was love.
People do all kinds of things just to be loved, wether rich, famous, criminal or religious. Other people may not understsnd why they are behaving as they are, but somewhere along the line they are getting approval.
So we feel like we are very tired of jumping through endless relgious or spiritual hoops to get approval in order to gain gods love.
We have no energy left to make any more efforts or share with others or hope by doing more and more religious acts god will be pleased. We have no energy or ideas left. We have no energy to do long ardases all day long, to get up at certain time, to force our body and mind. We are finished with efforts that if i do x, y and z guru ji will approve and god will love me.
Today the only ardas we did was
Baba ji please help me.
I need help.
Please help me.
Aap sahaee hoa sacha da sacha tdoa. He himself is the helper and support.
All we said was
Satnaam
And looked and observed satnaam in the thing we were looking at.
In the back of our mind is always ego, the greatest enemy of mine, constantly telling me how much of a faikure i am. Not letting me move forward without reminding me of all the negstives of everything worldy or spiritual i have done.
No more doing x y and z, no more trying to do things which will please guru ji and help me get god.
Just simple
Baba ji pls help me out of ego.
God i want to know your true love.
Satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam satnaam
SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM
All we are doing from now on is SATNAAM with awareness of SATNAAM in whatever we are doing.
Pls forgive us our endless mistakes.
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