Maya and making relationships

Satnaam, just sharing a chat we had about relationships, we have summarised the questions and kept it anonymous. But will help others to recognise when maya is playing our mind...maya makes everyone dance.

Qn:   2 boys are attracted to us and that's why we are feeling that we are totally trapped in maaya, mind cant do simran as these thoughts disturb us.

Reply:  

Its good to talk out your problems.  We wont think anything  bad of you, we dont judge, only god is the judge, if we dont let out what is really inisde we cant move forward.   so its good you have opened up.  The problem is at your age relationships are being made by all and that is your unfulfilled desire.

So it doesnt go just because we are told not to indulge by dassan dass ji, because deep down we want a relationship and dont want to miss this chance.

These deep down desires are called trishna. But just because gurbani says give it up, and even if we decide we will give it up, doesnt mean we can.

Because we have have karma to play out with these other people. That is why desire makes us interact with others, then we play game of givr and take, sukh and dukh, until karma with them finishes.

In the end you can only get married where and when it is written, all the dilema is just mind thinking it has a choice, then drains our amrit.

We were in the same dilema for ten years until we got married!

What we learned is that whatever causes us dilema is maya, and never turned out as we were hoping.

Qn: how do we say no to the boys without upsetting them and feeling bad?

Reply:

That is desire as well not to want to upset anyone and be seen as a being a bad person.  

But someone is going to get upset either way. You have to take away that burden from yourself. You have to be true to god inside you, you are responsible for your mind and emotions and actions, the boys are responsible for their mind and actions. 

Karmi apo apanee 

If they chose tonget upset, its their choice, not your fault. If you let them make you feel bad, then that is how other people take advantage of you.  

You have to be true only to god inside you, not to maya inside you and maya inside others. Live only to please god, not to please others. You will be free of maya then.

In the end when we got married, we prayed to god, and everything happened really simply, smoothly, no dilemas no problems, no maya. So we wasted ten years chasing relationships that only gave us headaches, stole our amrit and never worked.

Thats why we say to you, if things are causing dilema, its maya, its going to fool you, steal your amrit, and not happen as you are hoping.

Just say to maya you dont want anything from her, even if u remain single, its better than taking anything from maya, she is lying witch who steals ur peace.

Just pray to satguru ji, we have given you everything and we trust you ji to take care of everything at the right time in the right place with the right person.

Then your mind will not get disturbed again.

Yes, be patient, all good things come to those who wait. Trust in dassan dass jis words, do bhagti, beat maya, then she will serve you and not eat you.

Its only maya in the other boys as well that they are listening to.

Everyone is trapped in the web. So were we. We are very lucky to have satguru to free us, but we have to trust them, more than we want our desires.

Doesnt matter u met them at smagam or they are religious, so where we and the girls we met, but underneath its all desire and maya.

Satgur tumaray kaaj savaray

Believe it, when mind tries to trick u and say you have to decide, you will miss your chance etc just tell mind that you belong to satguru now and he makes the decisions, we just follow. Then maya cant get u.

Why did we make a guru if we were not going to listen to them? Thats what we told our own mind so many times when it didnt want to listen to dassan dass ji, but now we realise they only did best for us, but at the time mind tried to confuse us. So its just trust that saves us from maya.

Trust is bandagi.

Dassan dass ji will tell u when its right time, right boy etc. So dont worry about anything. You can always ask them, but then if they say no, then dont think about it again and maya cant distrub you.

Qn: we feel relaxed now

Reply:

Maya has left you, peace has come back. Notice these feelings inside yourself. And always be alert when peace is gone and confusion has come, means maya is there. So dont make any decision in your life when mind is in maya. Always wait till you are in peace again.

Satnaam satnaam satnaam prabh ka sukhdaee

Only satnaam is our comfort, we dont need any comfort maya is promising us, she is lying witch, who  sukh onky gives dukh.

Thats how we beat maya, just keep saying no to her and yes to satguru.

God bless you.