dandauth bandhna ji
like we said veer ji, you are not going to beat the five thieves especially KAAM in a few days or even a few years or even a few lifetimes.
Sex is the force running procreation - Baba Ji said to us that for a BrahmGyani the whole world is having sex ..meaning reproduction is taking place in flowers, animals, humans. And God has created it this way, the act of sex - wether in a plant or higher beings, is God's Temple. We call him Karta Purakh - He is the Creator, and the creation is being created in the act of union. So sex is not bad created by God to run His creation, to keep it going forwards. Sex is one of the most powerful forces inside all of us - why? Because God has put it inside us himself. So do not think that you or me can possibly get rid of this basic desire that is running us.
So what is bad, Baba ji also explained that sex is not bad, it is the desire for sex that is bad - desire for sex is called KAAM. Desires make something pure like sex into something saturated in maya. Desire for sex leads to all kinds of sex addictions, rapes, child abuse, self abuse and all kinds of extreme sexual behaviours.
How do we get our of the desire for sex and keep it pure?
Baba ji explained that with your partner dont desire sex, but if it happens then just go with the flow and keep doing your satnaam satnaam even during that process. And if another time sex doesnt happen then that is fine too. Its a matter of going with the flow and not chasing thedesire for sex.
So within marriage there is an outlet for the sex energy which is deeply plantedinside all of us by the Creator himself.
Well what about when we are not married, how do we have an outlet?
From peronsal expereince we will say there is no other option but to masterbate. If you try to resist for more than a week or two, your mind just things about sex all the time, it just gets worse and worse, causes more stress and causes us to see every women in a sexual way. But if you do masterbate, then you feel good and its a release, but then the mind kicks in and makes you feel guilty and bad and you send emails like this one - you send them and others send them too.
So you cant win!!! And that's not a good way to live with your mind, being in that state of mind will not be a good place for God to come and reside. So what can you do?
When we were single for many years and trying to fight with masturbation and sex thoughts, eventually we realised we can never control this sexual desire through our own means, because God Himself has put this inside us. So we fell at Guru Ji's feet and said "Waho Waho Sachay ma teree tek, hau papee thoo nirmal ek" ...Wondrous wondrous True Lord, I seek your shelter. I am a SINNER only you are the PERFECT ONE.
And that's it, just realise that I am always a sinner, and God is the Pure One. There is no way I can become pure through my own efforts. All we can do is learn to live with KAAM. Becuase until we do get married and KAAM serves its purpose for us to have children , only after that does it start to decrease and then only with Guru Ji's kirpa, otherwise it will only get worse.
So until you are at that stage and at that age, being single you will have to masturbate to have a release of all that sexual energy.
But what you can do is NOT feel guilty about it.
Just accept that it is an important part of your body's function.
That God has made you, me and everyone this way.
We asked baba ji once if it was wrong to masterbate and he replied, "Well your parents didnt teach you about sex. By masturbating god in you is teaching Himself about sex"
By masterbating it brings your mind out of stress and actually stops you having pent up sexual energy and seeing women as sex objects for weeks on end.
The only thing you have to deal with is the mental desires side.
So when you masturbate you are fantasising about some woman or the other or another.
Best thing to do is to just focus on Sat naam sat naam , and at most focus on your wife only (even though your not married, teach your mind to focus on your imaginary wife) Guru gobind singh ji wrote that we should love our wife more each day but not to even think about another women even in a dream (fantasy). So stop watching those kind of movies and images that make you fantasise about other's women.
So in summary , what we would like to say to everyone who is sending emails and feeling guilty about masturbating is that there is nothing wrong with masturbating, it is part and parcel of your body's natural function that God Himself has placed in you as a greatest gift to teach you about sex and for you to one day procreate and have kids etc.
The only thing that is bad is the desire for women other than your wife.
So please dont feel guilty about masterbating, just do your "satnaam" simran even at that time, enjoy it and have a release. But keep your mind focused on your wife (real or imaginary) rather than other women and avoid porn and situations that increase your lust.
Dust of your feet
Harjit
FOLLOW ON QN:
Sada Satnaam ji,
GURSIKHAN IKKO PYAAR GUR MITTAAN PUTTAAN BHAAIAAN,
Dearest harjit veer ji, we thank you for sharing the divine wisdom ji. we thank Satnaam ji, baba ji, dassan daas ji, whole Satsangat ji for their blessings. bhaji no one ever told us this, we always thought that sex is bad but the true part was always missing. thanks once again to Satnaam Akaal purakh ji for making us a member of Satnaam family ji and sending the divine pearls through the Satsangat ji.
KOT KOT SHUKRANA PARVAAN KARNA JI.
SATNAAM SATNAAM SATNAAM SADA SATNAAM JI.
REPLY:
Sat Naam Veer ji
Dandauth Bandhna Ji,
you said it right "no one ever told us this, we always thought that sex is bad but the true part was always missing."
When we were single and struggling with feelings of guilt about masterbation, we used to wear a blue bana and be full of guilt and lustful thoughts. We used to sit in gurdwara and listen to the "Sants" who came from India, but none of them every talked about this topic. No one ever told us how they overcame Kaam and masterbation and dealt with desire for sex. Yet all of these "Sants" are single and are surrounded by single young men. And being a single young man at that time, we could only think that these kinds of thoughts MUST be going through their mind all the time as well, so how are they dealing with it?
The only thing the "Sants" say about this topic is to see all women as your sister, mother, daughter except obviously your wife.
For themselves they have decided not to get married. Have you ever wondered why there is this tradition in Sikhism and why people following this lifestyle get so much respect? If they have decided not to get married and hence not to have sex either and dedicate themselves to God, then the masses like us start believing that sex must be bad and a barrier to God.
Even some of these Sants refuse to believe that the Guru's could have had sexual realtions with their wives - and when you ask but how did the guru ji's themselves have children they say that God did it (by magic). So this tradition of single men as Sants has been in Sikhism since the times after Guru gobind Singh ji. Where did it start? From Hinduism and it is in Budhism as well and evenin Chrstianity - monks exist everywhere as celibates. We read about their beliefs and basically the hindu yogis believe that we have lifeforce in us - true. But when we release our semen we WASTE our life force. By controlling the SEMEN and not releasing it, they attempt to accumulate as much life force as possible , which then through their yogic practises will go up their spine, give them the kundalini expereince, open their tenth door and merge them with the Light. That is the basic belief behind why they see sex/masterbation as bad. That is why they live single , celibate lives. They surround themselves with single men too and avoid the company of women to avoid lust and male/female issues that always end up arising. But it gets to the point where they have alot of prejudice against women. They see women as temptress, as tests for them. They see women having periods as impure, they have alot of prejudices against women. In Hinduism, there are many groups like this, the only difference is their holy man is called "Guru" wheras in Sikhsim the holy man is called "Sant". But the tradtion has come from Hinduism influencing Sikhsm after the times of Guru Gobind singh Ji.
When the British came into India, the true Nihangs, the real devotees of Guru gobind Singh where banished and went to Hazur Sahib because the British were afraid of these warriors. This then left a vacuum in Punjab, so they "sant" types of people who were from hindu influenced backgrounds became the preachers and the leaders for the sikhs. to the point that even in the golden temple there where idols and hindu relgious texts being read and taught by these Sikh Sants. These Sants never took the sikh initiation that the warrior Nihangs took, they were away from the miltiary and external side. But had there own initiation rites and beliefs including staying single, avoiding sex, being prejudice against women, and extreme vegetarianism.
What happened next was that the sikh leaders in the early 1900s realised that Sikhs were not organised and had been badly influenced by non-gurmat - non divine wisdom. So they made a system for all sikh preachers to follow, and that included the modern version of the "amrit ceremony" plus the rules and regualtions that go with it. If any sikh leader didnt accept this new policy they were not allowed to call themself sikhs. So what these hindu influenced "sants" did was just accept the new regulations. so they still preached their same old beliefs - sex is bad, vegetariansim, hindu type beliefs and so on, but made their initiation system the new modern amrit ceremony.
And now almost a hundred years later, we have these Sants in sikhism who are preaching and teaching a system that is far from gurbani and even guru gobind singh ji and the Eternal Truth, but the masses think it is the truth because for generations and generations its all what people remember.
That is why when yo start goinf deeply into these beliefs and history of them you find they are all false and copied from past belief systems. Even the ritual readings like Akhand Paat is from Budhism and Hinduism.
So that is why its best to have a livnig Master - the Master (God) lives in the heart of the true one. And that is why only someone like Baba Ji and Dassan Dass ji have been able to tell the complete truth for this day and age. but people find it hard to believe because they say "how can so many 'sants' be worng, how can million sof sikhs be wrong, how can sikh leaders be wrong, and just a bunch of you be right?"
Well Baba ji always says in that case ask yourself, in your family and past gerenations has there ever been a true Sant produced? In all the gurdwaras in the west has there ever been a true Sant produced? In Akal Takaht is there a true BrahmGyani sitting their running the Sikh world?
So only the true one can tell us the truth.
Ask questions, go deep and analyze the beliefs and things you have been taught to believe as true, but that haven't actually helped you to expereince whatever gurbani has told us.
O yes, and coming back to the topic, Baba ji also said its a false belief thinking that saving the semen increases life force. this is all gurParsaad only - by Gods grace an not by us controlling our bodies and minds thorugh suffering and supression.
Dust of your feet
Harjit
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