guide me to unite with my wife

FROM ANOTHER FORUM - but probably covers alot of peoples relationships which can be the biggest tests of maya in our bhagti process.

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From: raj kumar <rajkumarphysio_2005@yahoo.co.in>
To: Kundaliniyoga@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sunday, 16 August, 2009 3:39:49 PM
Subject: Re: [Kundalini Yoga] Re: guide me to unite with my wife

Sat Nam, Ji's,

i am raj, last year i married ,since we cannot live each other,dont know ,what is the reason,but always quarrel and conflict each other, so that, we were in a stage of diverse,
please guide me regard this,

raj
malaysia

 

Re: guide me to unite with my wife
Posted by: "Seary Us" seary_us@yahoo.com.au   seary_us
Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:33 pm (PDT)

Hi Raj
Living in a quarrelsome house is quite destructive and almost inevitably terminal for both your relationship and your well-being, and is the pits for any future child to have to live in.  There is no magic bullet to keep you together, and happily so.  Relationships do not turn to shit in 12 months, unless the shit was there in the first place, undetected.
Either mutually enter into a lengthy process of building calm orderly communication between you (this is process training, not coping or masking techniques), or cut your losses. In which case, review everything to do with both you and your partner's motives for marrying, and whether the negative indicators were there before you married ie whether you were fully and evenly equipped for a successful relationship.  Keep your notes, seek healing and personal growth for its own sake, and do the whole thing better next time. 
Falling in love is not a good enough reason by itself for marrying, but the ability to actively love and keep on loving regardless of whatever comes is the first ingredient.
Go well
Paul