Feeling guilty and depressed

QN:

Hello Harjit,
Thanks for all your reply.I really need your help.I tried to wake up in the morning but can't and then later on my mind makes me guilty about it and keeps me reminding that i didn't do naam and makes me feel depressed all the day.

Harman_preet

REPLY:

SatNaam Ji
dandauth Bandhna ji

dont worry veer ji, we all have passed through these stages, just as you will pass through.
The most important thing to remember is that there is no place for GUILT or FEAR on this path.
GUILT and FEAR come from the negative destructive (TAMO) side of the mind.
As we are still in EGO , when we do manage to even get up at amritvel and do some simran and feel something, then
EGO says "You are great!". And when we dont manage to do amritvela simran , EGO says "You are a loser, you are useless at this." Just learni to recognise that in both cases it is just EGO talking. So dont believe it. Learn to step back from those thoughts. See those thoughts as clouds in the sky of the mind and see yourslef observing those clouds and determnging their root cause, saying "Yes these are negative thoughts of GUILT and EGO, they have come into the mind and yes they are passing through to the other side" Then take your attention back to SatGuru Ji's lotus feet and recite Sat Naam Sat Naam. Or recite oa line from Gurbani , or do the Ardas that Dassan Dass Ji gave us to do every 5 minutes - or whenever we can remember to.

We spent MANY YEARS in FEAR and GUILT!!! Religion and relgious groups thrive on keeping people under FEAR and GUILT because it is easy to control people and especially large groups of people with these things. However in meditation, we have to learn to step back from the mind, to realise we are not the thoughts (clouds) that the mind generates, to realise that we are the soul (the witness/spectator).

So whenever you goto sleep do your sincere ardaas and really talk to SatGuru ji and say "I am nothing Guru ji, if I try and get up , I can't" then tell Guru ji all of your dukh and bhukh (pain and hunger), "Guru ji I feel guilty and and full of fear, but whatever I am dont forget me Guru ji - mohi na visaro jee, ma jun tera ..dont forget me Guru ji, I am your servant." Many times you will feel like giving up, but giving up and going into maya just means we waste another few months sidetracked, then we come back and have to start again, so always pray "Guru ji,, I am no good at this, I am ignorant and stupid, I am foolish and have done no seva, I am a stubborn donkey , a cold stone and no goodness absorbs into me. guru ji please You come yourself and wake us up, you come yourself and do your own simran, this body , mind and wealth is all yours guru ji, use it as YOU want, May "I" die so YOU can live in this heart."

So keep doing ardas from your heart , make a relationship deep inside with your Guru ji. If we were perfct ten wy do we need a Guru? It is because we are trying and making mistakes that we see how much in mayay , in lower consciousness we are, we see how deep in the well of maya we are and we pray to Guru ji to take our arm and pull us out, to never let our arm go, to keep us in this path now - and may we DIE TRYING rather than LIVE by GIVING UP.

Enjoy this path ,enjoy your simran, enjoy your seva. we dont get to ANAND by being miserable whilst doing simran and seva.
So start with less time, start with a time you can do simran and seva with LOVE. Feel love and compassion for even 5 minutes inthe day sometime and be thankful to Guru ji for that, and pray for more. And build it up. Keep working on your bad habits - keep working on reducing bad deeds and confessing deeds done under the 5 thieves. All these things can be done during the day whilst fully conscious - they all help.

Do as much seva as you can, see even your work or studying as seva, see your teachers or your managers as your boss, become selfless in every aspect of your life. do things for your Satguru out of love, rather than for rewards , get out of thinking of me first , others second.

So whenever your thought-waves disturbs you and toss you in the storm of GUILT and FEAR then spit you out onto the beacjhof despai, then pause, step back from those disturbning thoughts, name them -"these are thoughts of GUILT and FEAR and DESPAIR - that is not the real me" step back let them go by like clouds in the sky, do ardas "Guru ji give me your naam" and focus on Guru ji's lotus feet in your heart with love, and do your Sat Naam Sat Naam. And just remember that as soon as you can hear SAT NAAM within you, then that is SatGuru ji wtinh you doing the Simran (not you), that is the MAHA YOGI, the BEING OF LIGHT , the SLEEPING GIANT , your soul waking up and doing SAT NAAM SIMRAN. That is SatGuru ji with you right there and now doing HIS OWN SIMRAN.

God bless you

Dust of your feet
Harjit