Dealing with doubts

..this was sent to a penji who was battling with her doubts...

 

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satnaam penji, dandauth bandhana ji,

 

Dassan Das Ji has given you all the blessings and all the wisdom.

 

You are doing the right thing by addressing your doubts.  They only hold us back.  Took me a good few years to get rid of them and until I met Baba Ji and Dassan DasJi they didnt go,  but every now and again when something negative happened and I was tested again then the doubts would flare up again, but then finally one day I just had to jump in with a leap of faith, like baba ji said to me once, "I am jumping into the Ocean of You, ferry me across or drown me, its upto You, but I am jumping in now."  Then dont look back.   Living a life of doubts is like driving with the handbrakes on, and I know you feel that you are not flying, but your soul knows it could be, but our minds conditioning doesnt release us from its grip.  In this day and age most people have nothing to believe in and live empty lifes, never feeling fulfilled no matter what they achieve in the world.   No one trusts anyone else, because no one really trusts themselves - deep down we know we are losers to the five thieves and find it hard to believe anyone else is a winner.   We have to believe in something, beliving in satguru allows the love in us to be nurtured, that love blossoms into love for God.

 

The whole battle is with your own mind. Nothing else exits outside except the "story" we put on it.   Look inside at the state of your own mind, you feel like crying and I felt that too from your email, because your soul wants to break free.  What is this path ?  A path to MUKTI - freedom.  Freedom from what?  Freedom from your own mind.  You just have to get to a point where your mind and soul are in sync.  And that can be as personal to you as you like, religion is like "one size fits all", but really you can pick and choose all the great things you have experienced and put them all together under Guru ji's grace and make your life and your spiritual path as beautiful as you choose too.   That is what i have realised.  When i was in the relgious mindset that was everything , then i jumped into this path and brought my relgious mindset with it, so this became everything in the sense i felt i had to choose, and having to choose means the mind thinks one way was right and the other is wrong.  But if the other is right the former is wrong.  And that is why you are confused.  Just realise that the biggest conditioning we have had from family and relgion is that we have to choose?  Why?  Why cant we have it all?   Why cant I take the best bits of relgion and the best bits of this and put them all together and create a beautiful path with all the best bits together?

 

So thats what i have done and i feel great because my mind and soul are in sync again.  

I love gurbani and kirtan so i listen to that and learn that.  I dont have to give it up and Dassan Das Ji and Baba Ji have only ever said that Gurbani is the GYAN GURU ...pothi parmesar ka thaan and it contains pooran brahmgian says kabir ji.   And alongside that is the SAT GURU ..the living light of SAT (God) as the GURU in the heart of the brahmgiani.

 

So take the love you have for Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and for kirtan and for all the bhagats and all the guru sahibs and nurture it.   Take inspiration from the love  the shaheeds had for their Satguru and Shabad Guru and sacrifice your mind, body wealth at the feet of your Satguru and Shabad Guru in your time and place.

 

Take the great things from AKJ like healthy vegetarian food, no smoking, no drinking and discipline.  And bring that into your life , stay healthy and do simran and bhagti with discipline.

 

Take the great things from satsangat like friendship, somewhere to discuss your ups and downs, and somewher to ask for blessings.

 

Take the great lessons from the Gurdwara where people share food and serve each other, wipe each others shoes and help the elderly and children and keep doing that, and keep expanding that into all aspects of your life.

 

Baba Ji told me the greates thing ever when he said that he has no desire to make a dera, an organisation, he said his dera is Dassan Das Ji - a walking talking living light of God - the human Gurdwara.  And that is what we all need to become a living Gur-dwara.  So take the best of everything you have experinced and make yourself into something your soul is happy with and present yourself like a bouquet of naam at the feet of your satguru satnaam.

 

If you want to do waheguru waheguru, then do it with so much love ..wondrous guru wondrous guru..and when you feel like doing satnaam satnaam do it with so much love, and when you sing gurbani do it with so much love.  Whatever you sing do it without doubts ..only with love.  In this way you will realise the Lord, realise the Truth, always pray to stay under the feet of the Guru, that is home, that is where the hot wind of maya does not blow, that is what no -one can ever take away from you, that is everything.

 

dust of your feet

Harjit