Satnaam Ji - Dandauth Bandhana Ji.
Over the last few years bhagti has become harder. Even though the blessings are there
I just have been unable to sit and meditate and go deep. Looking back the main reasons
where because of feeling of hurt, anger, frustration and helplessness due to family and financial
issues.
Even trying to sit and meditate just let to further feelings of frustration, as I felt i could not get deeply into it.
But throughout that time, I just kept doing seva, if nothing else at least i could do seva for the Guru and Guru's blessed sangat. So I was stuck in a rut.
Last December, a big bombshell hit our family and local sangat when Susan announced she was marrying a "whiteman".
This brought big headaches and turmoil for all the family, friends and sangat and their families. I tried to bury my head in the sand first, then my own frustrations and anger came to a peak. However, seeing the destructive downward cycle the whole of the family was in, I decided that i was not going down that route, becasue all baba ji's divine wisdom taught us not to.
With Guru ji's kirpa we got the ticket out of our rut. Instead of letting the anger and listening to the slander getting us further into a destructive cycle, we were able to channel that energy for the good. With Guru's grace I just had an overwhelming feeling to start running. Instead of letting that energy destroy the body, I pounded for half an hour every day whilst chanting satnaam satnaam. It was hard at first, but day in day out, it made me feel good about myself, about my body and about my attitude to life. I felt a web of depression was being cut through. I felt like a teenager again, with lots of energy and determination. After three weeks I felt now I needed t work on physical strength, so joined the gym and have been going for the last three weeks. ANd getting stronger and stronger with each push saying "satnaam". Now this last week have also started doing yoga in the morning for flexibility followed by an hour of simran which is now not frustrating at all, but full of love.
Last night Susan came around and said that around XMAS when all the fallout was happening, Namjeevan called Baba Ji and about me and he told her that it was not my destiny to fall off the path. And three weeks ago Susan said she called Baba ji and asked him to send me love blessings and Amrit. Looking back, even though i was running and chanting half an hour a day and feeling good in a physcial sense, my internal anger was not shifting. And it was around that time, with Guru's kirpa that Pritam Anand Ji asked for all our pains and we prayed for him to take all our anger and frustrations. And that is when the anger shifted.
Sometimes we can let anger destroy us, or we can use it to destroy others. IF we keep it inside though it becomes internalised and that is called Depression. If we learn to use it to kick us out of our comfort zone, to make changes in our life, to solve our problems and be determinded to do so, then it can be a force for the good. But to totally banish it requires the blessings of the Sant Satguru, the Sat Sangat.
So thankyou everyone. And also i would like to apologize to the sat sangat - Jaspal, Ranjit, Namjeevan Ji and anyone else who i have offended. I am ver sorry, may i wash your holy feet and drink the amrit water.
PS Here is an article on the bbc newsite confirming how running and excercise helps us to beat depresssion.
dust of your feet
Harjit
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